What’s it like being at the A.L.M.S race meeting here in the UK? (Alternative Le Mans S scale race meeting or the Alternative 24 HO:ur Race meeting?)

Well, it starts off very slowly. Not knowing what to expect you walk through the doors of the Basketball Hall – it looks huge. Where’s the……..t.r..a..CK WOWWWW! There it is on the floor, filling the Basketball Court. Eight lanes W-I-D-E with an 80+’ Main straight longer than most home – and even commercial track - lap lengths in itself!

And look at those curves – 9 FOOT and 12 FOOT (not Inch!) radius sweeping bends spilling out into 19’ straights, tight, vicious kinks, slippery left and right hand sequences and that killer curve at the end of that Mulsanne Straight s-o-o-o far away you can barely recognise the 1:1 marshals, let alone that tiny little dot of a 1/64th car.

Can you EVER get into a rhythm on a track this big?

Yes you can. It might be a big track but it’s so smooth and quick you DO get that rhythm. Feeding the power in as you swing onto the main straight and gunning it, it’s remarkable to see some of the better prepared, or less battered? cars take 20’ out of a competitor down the Mulsanne. How come our car can barely keep up, or painfully take a foot or so off the car in front? – and Whoops. All the time in the World to get down that straight and you forget about the corner. Drat. Those hard won feet are given back in yards as the competition barely blips the brake then feeds power back in and hurtles down to the next corner. Lost the rhythm – build it back up and try reeling him back in and – whoosh – that’s another one just passed us.

Pit! Pit! Carbon blackens the inside of the end bell. Brushes are worn. Whip out the motor, in with another, a quick blast of air – and it’s time for someone else to - practice. You’ve done your five minutes. What? I’ve got to do THREE HOURS in the race? At 1am?

Hey, there’s Jason Boye – and he’s got some B.R.M bodies with him. Whoa. Look at that Lola. Gorgeous. And that GT40. Any Daytona coupe’s left? All went while I was practicing? Hmm. Wouldn’t mind that Lola though. Is it for sale? Have I got enough? Yes, I’ll take it before anyone else spots it.

Now didn’t I see the French boys somewhere? Set up at the other end of the driver’s rostrum. Parlez vous Anglais? How about Franglais? Oui? Combien the Sprint voiture monsieur? 80 Francs – er? £8? Oui, oui! Ah bon! Vous trade pour mon autos? Ah Numero trois Wrangler pour la? Bon.

Hey John, John! Have you seen Thierry’s resin Panoz? I got him to keep one for you – and look at the Marcos – and CLK. I LOVE those Lakester Ford’s and the blown 32 Highboy. See what else he’s got in the pipeline, A Fiat 500 Abarth and a Corvette Grand Am with full engine detail and opening trunk. But look at that, see the Cunningham – What, what? My practice again? OK. Je retourne Thierry, oui? Gee, I hope he understands my Franglais!

Five minutes later, eyes a little bleary from peering down at that far corner another practice session ends. I enjoyed that. Only two more hours to go – to the START!

Hi Barry, need a hand (Got to get a sneak preview of his shop contents.) We’ll set up the table near those power points that nobody’s plugged something into yet. Oh, you’ve got 1/32nd stuff too? Nice. Too big though. Well I know the detail’s great but one of those takes up the space of four of my little cars. Well, you’re right. It isn’t THAT much more for a 1/32nd car but…. No, no. I’m sticking to HO. What, you’re collecting these Andy? Mm. Another HO’er bitten by the 1/32nd bug. Wonder if he’ll be selling up his HO?

Hey, I’m a bit peckish. What’s the time. Nearly twelve already. Fours hours gone – another hour before the race. Time for coffee and sandwiches I think.

Hey Paul, want a coffee? Here grab a seat. Long time no see. What’ve you been up to? Sold the Caterham Seven and bought a Lotus Elise. Oh, is that yours outside. What, you came in your Mazda? No room for slot cars in an Elise. Well that’s tough. They build cars that handle like a slot car but…yeah, funny!

Gentlemen, gentlemen. Captains to Race Control please. First drivers on the rostrum. Nearly 1pm. Wow. I’m pooped. Five hours since I got here, eight since I got up this morning. Now we’re going to race for twenty four hours. We must be mad. Change of plan, half hour stints to keep the drivers fresh? OK, sounds good to me. Give me a shout when its’ – what, time to change already, seemed like five minutes since I got up here. Just had a great dice with the French team. They were quick up that Mulsanne Straight but our car’s handling better through the curves. We’re gradually easing away from them but watch that kink BEFORE the Mulsanne – yes that one. Marshal. MARSHAL!

What’s that noise? Mm. Must have nodded off. Four pm on the first day. The first three-hour session’s over and we’re fifth. Well, not a bad start. Is it me yet? Well I’m off to get some photo’s then. Got to get some colour pics of those B.R.M. cars. All sold? Drat. Hope Paul got some pic’s then. Let’s have a look at the Racing Legends stuff again. Coming Peter?

Thierry – parlez vous…? Oui, c'est moi? Je suis ‘Kodak’ votre auto’s si’l vous plait. Merci. Er, that, and that – oh and the Panoz – and what’s that? Didn’t see that before. Looks like a – oui, un Scarab. Ah bon. I mean Great. Any left? I’ll have deux merci. Thierry. La! Votre voiture est mort. Oui, dans le track. There look! Here, look, pick ups and springs. Oh, oui, merci monsieur. Vite, vite Frank. Marche! Il est fixed!

Where were we – two Scarabs. Trade? Pour mon Petty Esmark? Sorry back in a minute, I’m on again.

Three hours later.

Where’s Thierry? Asleep. Sounds like a good idea to me. People are beginning to droop. 11pm. I’m off to MY pit. Nope, sorry. Marshal missing can you take over? Well it was my turn to have a kip but OK. Where are we marshalling? On that big floor cushion at Turn ‘5’. Mmm nice. Too nice, eyelids were drooping there. Heck, I ache. Hi. Deane. Deane. Over here. There’s room enough for two and it’s a busy corner. How’re you doing. Third huh? Well we’re making a move on sixth. Yeah. I know we’re fifth just now but we like a challenge! Besides, we feel sorry for the kids team. Look at that one, fast asleep and sucking his thumb. No, not in the kids team – OUR DRIVER! No, just kidding. Oh here comes the relief marshal. I’m off for a kip.

6am. God I’m cold. Where am I? This floor’s hard. Quick cold wash and brush my teeth I think. Hey, I’m ready for another stint. Where are we? Fourth. Had a good run during the night while others were changing motors. Hauled ourselves up from an ‘almost sixth’. Great, we’re going to do better than last year. Can we take third? What’s the gap? SIXTY LAPS! Hey that’s er, 60 x 200/5280. That’s er. Over two MILES!

8am. Their car’s stopped. Their car’s stopped! Quick put Peter on, he’s fast. We’ve got to make up laps while they’re off. Try and find out what’s going on. Thrown an armature winding. There’s wire everywhere. They’ve got to change the motor. Keep going Peter. Their new motor’s a dog, they’re taking it off again. Keep going, keep going. Argh. Marshal, get that car off the……Smack. Whirrr. Stripped gears.

Didn’t we say, "Never again" last year?

Still, I got some great cars and it was good to see the Americans again – and Team Continental. Frank Figuls does some great car art too, doesn’t he? Hey, I didn’t see those posters – still…….There’s always next year!